you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
