She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
