Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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