so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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