you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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