I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
