just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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