Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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