Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
