I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
