We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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