10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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