he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I need water and some morals
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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