Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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