I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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