haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
