Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
