Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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(312): View more from Illinois

the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.

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(206): View more from Washington

He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.

(415): View more from California

Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.

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(623): View more from Arizona

this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol

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(210): View more from Texas

Why are you drunk at the library?

(1-210): View more from Texas

Why not?

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