Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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