it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
