why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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