yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
