the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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