tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we should paint friendship bongs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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