We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
