Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
