i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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