That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
