So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
