I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
