When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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