its not stalking. its research.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
