First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Couch. On fire.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
