Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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