All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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