Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
