I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
