What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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