We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
