I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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