What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
