I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
