Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
