Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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