I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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