All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We're too hungover to prance.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
