Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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