I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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