plz talk dirty to me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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