I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
